How Facebook Exponentiates Propinquity

Last Wednesday we discussed attraction with regards to beauty, non-physical and long term, the latter led to a discussion of propinquity, a term denoting nearness. In our context, we talked about how propinquity can be a factor in one's selection of a long-term partner.

Frankly I believe that we could spin a wheel on any given relationship as we try to determine the roots of it, but propinquity would certainly be one piece of the pie. For instance: how did you two end up together?

"We went to the same church."
"She sat next to me in elementary school."
"Our parents were friends."

We've heard it all before! Ah yes, propinquity certainly has its place on the wheel of relationship fortune, but here's the interesting bit: Facebook geometrically increases the factor of propinquity in our lives.

Congratulations Robert Nellis, you are my example! You see for one such as yourself who moved around from town to town in that military lifestyle that propinquity (at the time) was not on your side. You had not a constant social padding of fellow students, churchies, neighbours and the likes. No opportunity to select a long term partner delivered by propinquity, for you were stripped of this propinquity.

Robert Jr, however, might move to a different location every year or two, but using his social networking prowess he is able to take his relationships with him everywhere he goes. He can choose as time goes on which relationships deserve more of his time and attention, and perhaps one of them might even be his partner despite the fact that they only spent their year of 3rd grade in any reasonable proximity to her! Anyone who spent some time traveling and meeting new people everyday knows what I'm talking about!

My wife and I attended high school together, although we don't believe we ever took a single class together. When we graduated, we went in completely different directions. 6 years later, we became 'friends' and started e-mailing... phoning... visiting... and the rest is history. Social networking, it would appear, does not only maintain propinquity; it creates it as well.

And so we see how social networking has enhanced propinquity: by giving people the option to stay close to one another without physically being so. But good, old-fashioned, down-home propinquity deserves a toast as it is responsible for many treasured relationships; it just has a tendency to be forgotten in our electronic day and age. There is no need to mourn classic propinquity - just think of love as a book: you can visit your neighbourhood book den or shop it out on amazon. Sometimes it's amazing where the most seemingly negligible details will lead us...